From Postpartum Depression to Joy

Moving UP!

yaeldaphna — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 05:44:56 +0000

Big news: we moved. Follow me to

www.ppdtojoy.com

After a great first meeting, and lots of positive community response, I’ve decided to take the plunge and actually pay for web-hosting. So now we have a big-girl website, with our own domain name, and a mailing list sign up, and other technical bells and whistles I don’t even know how to use (but I am figuring things up, and staying up much too late to do that).

Everything already on this blog will stay the same, but all the new stuff will happen on the new site (which looks very much like this one, so no need to get used to the new site all over again). So hey, sorry to make you have to click again, but would you please come on over to our new home?

click here: www.ppdtojoy.com

See you there, I can hardly wait…

The first meeting was met

yaeldaphna — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 05:34:20 +0000

The first Postpartum Depression to Joy meeting was inspiring and humbling. Brave and honest mamas, tears, hugs, laughter, and grace under fire. Literally: a fire alarm made us have to leave Jillian’s, so we crossed the street and went into Waffle Frolic, and continued right where we left off. Yummy waffles were had by all. The sharing and the support were savored as well.

Support Group Meetings Start Tomorrow!

yaeldaphna — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 15:27:11 +0000

Are you coming? I hope so.

11:45 – 1:00, The community room at Jillian’s Drawers, 171 East State Street, at the Center Ithaca Building on the Commons, Ithaca, NY.

Can’t come? Free phone support sessions will begin in November. Email me to get notified: ppdtojoy@gmail.com

Tell a friend, OK?

I’ll report back tomorrow.

Love,

Yael

The down after the up.

yaeldaphna — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 04:20:25 +0000

You know the game. You have a great day. Everything is going your way. You walk around with a song in your heart. Good for you. Brace yourself. Tomorrow is going to suck.
But you might get really lucky. Tomorrow might not suck at all. It might be just as good, even better. Maybe you are reaping some major karma frequent flyer miles and are having a long stretch of good days. Thats just swell, honey. Savor it. You deserve it. After all, it is important to enjoy the good stuff.
(If you are reading this while you happen to be in a depression pit and all this stuff about the good days is getting on your nerves, no worries, the cheer is about to disappear).

Anyway, sooner or later, you run of luck, or someone says the wrong sing, or you say the wrong thing, or nobody says the right thing, or you scream at your kids for being kids, or you can’t believe what your hubby just did (or didn’t), or PMS strikes, and all of a sudden: Nastiness. Big time.

So yesterday was a brilliant day. It was my 39th birthday, I had 4 hours of seep because I just published this blog in the wee hours of the previous night, but I wasn’t tired because I was so high on the fact that I just published this blog.
And the day held treasures: Ice cream with my 6 year-old, just the two of us, then I was able to do all the poses in my first yoga class in 4 months, which was awesome (why is it that the first thing to go when things get hectic is yoga and excercise? Will I ever be one of those women who excercise through the rough spots? I wish, but fat chance. Fat being the operative word here) OK, back to the good stuff. The weather gods gave me lake-swimming weather as a birthday gift, so I honored their generosity by promptly swimming in the lake (brrrrrr, nice!). The picnic at the elementary school, the dinner with good friends, the facebook birthday love, the transatlantic birthday calls, all contributed to a warm fuzzy feeling. Yay for good days.

Then today started. The first thing I noticed when I woke up was that my body was really mad at me for being an overacheiver in the yoga class. I got my period and it brought its cousin badmood. The best kids ever behaved like wicked beasts. The noise from the chimney work (don’t ask) was pounding on my headache, and by now I just feel like low-level shit. Familiar much?

So here is how I’m helping myself cope: I let it suck.
I cried a couple of times already, one of those was over spilled (soy)milk. I’ve let my kids know that I love them even while I’m yelling at them, told the husband that any bitchy fallout is not his fault, and I’m resigned to the kitchen mess growing even larger. Soon there will be no counter space left for one more dirty cup, and that’s disgusting, but OK too. And when the guilt over being in a funk shows up, I don’t try to fight it, I just mentally nod at it and say: hey, I know you, you are nothing new. So the guilt is put-off with me for not getting all hung up on it, and kind of sinks into the background. Sort of like how you drive through a skunk-zone, and at first you are overwhelmed by the stench, and a few minutes later it’s not so bad, and after a while you can’t even smell it anymore, But just because you are not consciously aware of it doesn’t mean the stench is gone, and if anyone would come into your car they would be all “woah, that’s gross!

Know what I mean?

Anyway, I asked my Self what I could do for her and she said “let’s just write a post about this, let’s use some of the suckness as fodder for content”. And when the toddler went down for his nap, I resisted the urge to clean up the kitchen and parked myself in bed with laptop in lap and first-grader next to me with a book. And while I’m wallowing lounging in bed writing this post, I can feel the air clearing. If you got in my car now, you wouldn’t even think of skunk, the only thing that might gross you out would be the pretzel crumbs everywhere, and I’m sure both of us could live with that.

And here is the best part about having a bad day (yes, I know that’s an oximoron, my life is full of them): The best thing about bad days, is that after the long and winding road from the PPD abyss back up, I actually have the mental skills and enough practice to not panic when the funk descends. I no longer see each bad day as a one way ticket to the doom. Bad days might turn into bad weeks, but that’s about it. A good day would come again soon. And good weeks are not uncommon. Even a good month here and there is no longer so shocking. I think what makes the biggest difference in the way I handle the ups and downs these days is this: I am no longer considering good days to be my birthright, I no longer interpret bad days as personal failure. Bad days are ugly alright, but I trust that even when I feel like total cwap, I’m fine. And that, my friend, is an accomplishment in my book.

Happy Birthday

yaeldaphna — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 05:10:24 +0000

Hello world. This blog is now live.

I am 39 years and 48 minutes old, and I hope there are less typos in this blog than years in my life. It’s too late to ask Jaya or Tess to proofread. And Gideon is already asleep.

I did not plan on making this blog go live on my birthday. That would be corny. And Cheesy. And while those close to me know that fancy cheese and salty popcorn are very important to me, I prefer my work to be free of things that belong in the mouth.

But this past week had a lot going on in it and so I am only now ready to send out an email to everybody I know to come here to check this out.

But as it turns out, there is some really powerful symbolism here, which is sort of embarrassing, because it is on the melodramatic side: life and death! Triumph of will!! Serendipity!!! It’s all so ripe (and full of exclamation points! )

Anyway, I’m keeping this sort of vague, because everything will become clear when you read the About page. See you there.

G’night

Taking on a Giant

yaeldaphna — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 18:39:16 +0000

With trembling hands I embark on this mission: helping the mamas of the world disarm postpartum depression. One baby step at a time.

A mighty and worthy goal indeed.

I’m working on developing programs that mothers could use to help themselves, and families could use to support the struggling mom and all family members during the challenging times.

If you happen to live within driving distance of Ithaca, NY, you can come to ppd recovery meetings I’ll be leading every other Tuesday (11:45am to 1:00pm) starting October 5th 2010, in the community room at Jillian’s Drawers on the Commons.

This is first post is a tiny step, just the public beginning. I will be writing new posts as often as my kids let me. At least once a week. . You can help me focus my efforts by leaving a comment that lets me know what sort of help would be most useful to you.

Prefer email? Here’s the address: ppdtojoy (at) gmail (dot) com

Much love,

Yael.